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Bringing Romance Back

by Rinatta Paries |
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Romance dies, that's a fact, right? When you find the love of your life, you'll both settle into a daily routine of financial, household, and child responsibilities, forgetting you are a couple, right? Romance will only last through the initial crush of the relationship. After that you and your partner will start taking each other for granted, right?

It does not have to be this way. There are many relationships where romance is alive and well. I am in such a relationship, and you can be as well.

And in case you think this is a trivial subject, please know romance matters to the health and well being of your relationship. Being romantic is nothing more or less than appreciating and celebrating your partner. This means if romance dies, one or both people in the relationship will begin to feel unappreciated. How much love can you get from someone who feels unappreciated? Enough said.

Below are three attitudes/actions for you to adapt to make sure romance never dies in your relationship -- or to help you revive it.

1. Learn compassion and acceptance
Realize that your partner is human, no matter how perfect he or she seemed in the beginning. He is going to do things that bug you. She is going to do things to disappoint you. Expect this.

In fact, is there any relationship of any type, where this is not the case? Try to have as much compassion for and acceptance of your partner as you do for your friends.

Most importantly, remember your partner is not imperfect to hurt you. His or her imperfections are not an indication of lack of love for you.

2. Communicate, communicate, communicate
Communicate when you feel hurt. Communicate when you need something to change. Communicate when you are disappointed. Communicate when you feel angry. Communicate when you feel needy.

It is the negative emotions, like those above, we tend to not want to communicate in a relationship. We think we are taking care of our partner by sparing him or her our anger or disappointment. In fact, when we hold our negative emotions back, we are quietly releasing poison into the atmosphere of the relationship.

The best thing to do with any negative emotion is to get it out in the open and resolve it.

3. Appreciate and celebrate your partner every day
I know this one is hard to do, but here is something that will help immediately.

Live each day as if this is the last day you have with your partner. I don't mean to be fatalistic, but accidents happen all of the time. For all you know, today could be the last day you and your partner have together. And if it is the last day, you won't know it until it is over.

The thing most people regret at death of a loved one is not having had the opportunity to say "I love you". If a loved one has died in your life, you know exactly what I mean.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your relationship. If you adapt this attitude, romance will return immediately. After all, if this really was the last day with your partner, you would want him or her to know how much he or she is loved and appreciated.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries


Ten Habits of a Loving Couple Making Time for Romance


This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries in "The Relationship Coach Newsletter," a weekly e-zine for people who want fulfilling relationships. For singles, the newsletter will help you attract your Mr. or Ms. Right. If you're in a relationship, you will learn to create more closeness and intimacy with your mate. To subscribe, go to www.WhatItTakes.com

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