Live With Loveby Liz Wertman
Our children mean everything to us. We want the very best the world has to offer for them. Our job is to nurture their minds and bodies, to guide their souls. This is the job of every parent! This was the job of your parents!
How we live our life, the decisions and choices we make affect both our parents and our children. We were created in love; your children were created in love. They deserve to live with love. So do you.
The ideal is to live with love from the other parent of your children. But we must be realistic and admit that this is not always possible. In this century, half of all marriages end in divorce. What about the other half? Are we to assume that they are blissfully happy or have some of them decided to stay married for the children sake? If you are among those that are staying married for your children's sake there are some thoughts you should consider.
While staying married for the children's sake is a noble idea in theory, in practice you are probably doing more harm than good to both your children and yourself. You need to ask yourself two vital questions. Is this the life your parents want you to have? Is this the life you would wish on your son, or on your daughter? Most likely the answer would be NO! Your parents most certainly want you to be happy. If you are not happy, you certainly would not wish this same life for your children.
You are showing your children that you do not have the self-confidence to demand happiness out of your own life. That it is all right to sacrifice your happiness for someone else. Your children will follow your example. They create an image for themselves from what they see their parents do. You set the standards.
A better image to show your parents, your son, your daughter, is one of self-worth. If your marriage is the cause of your unhappiness then you need to do whatever necessary to repair the marriage. You must go to counseling and do whatever it takes to make you happy. Even if that means you must get a divorce. Staying and accepting a bad marriage as your lot in life just creates an image of worthlessness. Divorce, if necessary, creates a standard of self-confidence, strength and self-worth.
It's your life. You can't change the past; you will not be able to relive your life. But you can change the present to control the future. Your self-sacrificing will not improve your children's lives and it most certainly will not improve yours.
You want your son or daughter to be strong, self-confident adults with control of their future. You want them to be happy. To do whatever is necessary to achieve that happiness. That's what your parent's want for you.
Create an image for your children of "do what I DO." You need to set the example. By you taking care of yourself and showing them that you care about yourself you will be teaching them to take care of and care about themselves.
Create standards in your life that they can emulate, standards that you wish for them. Live with love for yourself.Liz Wertman id the author of "Divorce Strategy for Men and Women". Your guide through the maze of divorce.
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