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Trying to Conceive 12 Months+

Katlyn Joy |16, November 2011


Trying to Conceive 12 Months+

When you start the journey to expand your family, it's all dreams of pink and blue and baby faces. The excitement builds to near giddiness. However, as month slips to month and each cycle ends in disappointment, the joy turns sour. "Why aren't we pregnant?"

Infertility is by definition when a couple has been trying to get pregnant without success after one year of unprotected sex, or after 6 months if the woman is past age 35. This is the "magic" number or the cut-off point when it's time to look into the causes and see if there is a solution to bring about a baby.

Most Common Reasons for Infertility

For women the main issue will be with ovulation. Some women don't ovulate frequently, while others don't ovulate at all. Other problems include blocked tubes, hormonal imbalances, uterine structural issues and fibroids. One of the most frequent causes is polycystic ovarian syndrome or PCOS.

Men usually suffer from infertility due to problems with the amount or the healthiness of their sperm or issues with overheating in the testicular area.

Often fertility treatments include measures such as surgery, medication or assisted reproductive technology or ART.

Tips for Coping with the Pressures of Trying to Get Pregnant

When weeks turn to months the excitement of trying to conceive turns to stress. Couples may find their sex life more chore like than fun, and their conversations heavily stilted towards the topic of babymaking. Their relationship may be pressured in ways never before experienced. Some may become more than stressed and actually become depressed or feel isolated from the rest of society or their families.

- Give yourself permission to feel however you feel. Don't let anyone tell you what you're feeling is self-pity or inappropriate. Your emotions are genuine and your own. Let yourself feel them without blocking.

- Keep a journal. Expressing yourself and all your thoughts, hopeful or angry, worried or soul-searching, is a valid way to channel your emotions in a thoughtful way.

- Let people know what you want and need from them, including your partner. Many of us think others especially loved ones know what we need when really they often need our direction or permission to reach out to us. If you need a good cry and a shoulder, say so. If you want a night out at a comedy club just to laugh off some stress, share this thought.

- Learn some basic relaxation or meditation techniques. Trying to conceive is a drain on one's energy. Find a way to bring peacefulness and strength into yourself by learning to shrug off stress and embrace relaxation. Simple breathing techniques, meditation exercises or yoga can do wonders for your state of mind as well as keeping your body more relaxed and in tune.

- Finding positive outlets for the anxiety. Read up on current fertility studies. Participate in fertility support groups. Become more active and take walks together as a couple, or go for a swim.

- Don't become overly focused on this one aspect of life. Allocate only a certain segment of time each day to discussing fertility issues, such as half an hour after dinner for instance. Don't let your infertility push others away. You are more than a potential parent. You are a whole person. Don't let your quest for family limit your identity.

- Take time to be a couple. Enjoy each other as a couple, not as a baby making team. Go off on dates or for a trip away, or go a babymoon.

- Find activities and hobbies that stimulate your mind and /or body. Take up scrapbooking, redecorate the study, learn to do woodworking or start tennis lessons. Such activities can reinvigorate you and give you a better outlook on life in general.

- Learn to cook and eat healthier. Not only will this increase your odds of becoming pregnant, but it will increase your lifespan.

- Consider counseling if the stress has turned to depression, or your relationship seems to be on a continuous downward spiral. Couples come under such fire during the fertility process the toil can quickly mount. Rather than ignore signs of trouble, seek out professional help. Having a counselor to sort through the myriad emotions can get couples back on track as individuals as well as a team.

- Never give up hope for building a family. As you go through the process together, you will ultimately find the path for your family. Stay united and steadfast and enjoy your coupledom in the meantime.

Related Articles

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Trying to Conceive With Acupuncture

Trying to Conceive: Endometrial Biopsy Explained

Luteal Phase Defect

Coping With the Frustrations of Infertility


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Nicola Sep 4, 2012 08:35:24 PM ET

My partner & i have been trying to conceive for 13 months. I am currently waiting for some bood results from my gp but getting really worried. My mum recently passed away too so have been under a lot of stress over the passed couple of months. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated x

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