Is Your Husband Ready for a Baby?Alison Wood |29, October 2012
Baby-fever is highly contagious and can spread quickly from woman to woman at the mention of little layettes, powder scented babies, and cuddles and coos. Men, on the other hand, are typically not swayed as easily as women, since there is no biological clock within them ticking. So, how can you know if your hubby is ready to welcome a newborn into the world?
What are his priorities?
If your husband is all about thrill-seeking adventures or his entire life revolves around the workplace, you may want to wait a little longer before trying to conceive. When babies come on the horizon, fast-paced life becomes baby-paced life. If your man is a thrill-seeker, you may want to consider that your adventures will change. But, there will be new exciting experiences that lie ahead in babyland. Plus, crazy, last minute adventures do not have to be completely shelved -- just altered and planned a little bit more. As you and your spouse adjust to parenthood, you will learn the areas in your life in which you can be flexible. As the baby gets a little older, an overnight hiking trip can be planned for you and your hubby while your little one spends the night with grandma and papa. It's only one night, and both of you will be refreshed after satiating those adventurous drives.
As far as the 24-7, "grind stoning" husband is concerned, he needs to know that raising a baby takes two parents. It is wonderful that your husband works hard to provide for the family, but if he is not at all interested in spending time holding or playing with a little bambino, consider waiting a while to see if your baby fever affects him.
Does he have a reliable job?
Bringing a new life into your family means an increase in food, medical, clothing and miscellaneous needs. If you and your husband are already struggling to support yourselves, it would be best to wait until your husband has a more stable, better-paying job. Sometimes just cutting back on your expenses can give you some wiggle room in your finances to make way for a baby. If there is no consistent income coming in, wait until dependable provision is secured. With all the changes that will occur during the first years of parenting, additional financial stress is not needed.
Does he enjoy having kids around?
Obviously, babies grow up to be kids. If your husband is one of those people that automatically gets stressed when a child is present, he's not ready for a baby. Kids ask lots of questions, have lots of energy and makes lots of noise. Someone that is already on edge around kids will not be emotionally prepared for the constant love, affection and fun a child craves from his parents. Constantly pushing a child away as an unwanted nuisance will only create larger family problems. Wait until a little one melts your hubby's heart and he sees that all kids are not like the screaming, disrespectful kids he sees at the shopping mall.
Do you and him agree on the religious aspects for your family?
Religion affects people's everyday decisions. This will be no different in deciding what is the best way to raise your child. Do you and your husband agree on what kind of church the children will attend or what kind of activities will they be allowed to participate in? Are your kids going to be allowed to date? If so, at what age? What religious ceremonies or holidays will you participate in? These questions will arise, and you and your husband need to be on the same team concerning the life-changing events that affect your child's decisions for their future. Discuss these issues now. If you see that you are disagreeing in many of these areas, wait until these issues are resolved.
How is his health?
If your husband is currently dealing with several negative health issues, waiting a while to conceive may be the best route to take. Little ones take a lot of work and they love playing and interacting with their daddies. If your husband is in good health, he will have the energy needed to play and enjoy the kiddos. Medical conditions can be stressful until resolved. Having a new family is stressful as well. Deal with the medical conditions first, then consider building a family.
The best way to see if your husband is ready for a new baby is simply to ask him. Bringing up the issues mentioned above can help give him some motivation to prepare himself for potential daddy days ahead.
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