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Top Fears Men Have During Pregnancy

by Alison Wood | December 28, 2012 9:00 AM
1 Comments


Your wife comes out of the bathroom with a big grin on her face. Yep, there are two pink lines in the test window. Dou know what this means, right?" She asks. You look a little unsure of this whole pregnancy test thing. "It means we're pregnant!", She squeals as she envelopes you with a big bear hug. You return the hug and force a smile. "Yep", you reply, "We're pregnant".

As she rushes to go notify her parents, close friends and all of Facebook, you sit down and try to take it all in. Suddenly this baby thing is a reality. You're not so sure this is what you really wanted. One by one the following fears dance through your boggled mind.

Will I be able to provide for my wife and baby?

Two adults is a pretty easy financial situation, especially if both adults are working outside the home. But with the baby coming, you are almost sure your wife is going to want to stay home with the little bambino and give him one-on-one, full-time attention. You can't blame her for wanting to experience all the "firsts" of infancy and childhood with your son or daughter.

Three people living on one income can be financially tight. Don't fret about the finances right now. Just continue working diligently to provide for your family. Take time to sit down and compile a list of incoming and outgoing monies. Perhaps you can cut some corners to allow room for diapers, formula and other baby essentials. You may be surprised how much money your family is already spending on non-essentials. Cut those out first and see if that gives you enough room to have all your bills paid and some extra. If not, begin to consider another avenue of income. Many online, part-time opportunities are available through telecommuting and could provide just the amount of income you need to supplement your main source of income.

Can I still have fun?

All you can see and hear is a screaming baby and piles of bottles and diapers. You start to get tunnel vision as you ponder the idea of a life without fun and excitement.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. The life of parenting always has its adventures. Your little one will be quite capable of traveling with you and your wife on outings and trips. It just takes a little more prep work and planning. There are most likely some family members just itching to baby-sit the new baby in the family. Take advantage of the excitement and plan a dinner and date night out with your wife. You are not leaving the realm of an exciting life, but rather adding a new adventure filled with cuddles, hugs and giggles.

My wife is going to be in pain during labor, and I won't be able to help!

Many husbands, including you, dread the labor and delivery room. What in the world are those stirrup things at the end of the bed? It looks more like a torture chamber than a delivery room. The doctors and nurses come and go out of the room and talk above your head about dilation and effacement. You feel lost in the maze of the rushed preparation of welcoming a new life into this world.

Despite all the movies of women screaming at their husbands, many women find their comfort in their husband's arms. With the majority of women opting for the epidural, husbands become more of a companion than a labor coach. Just follow your wife's signals and try to keep her mind off of the labor. If she wants to hold your hand, offer it for as long as necessary. If she wants some ice, go grab her a cup. If she wants the TV off, keep it off. Just your presence and concern for her well-being will aid her tremendously in experiencing a more pleasant labor and delivery.

Our intimate life will end and never return.

It is no secret that women experience highs and lows of sexual desire during pregnancy. This can be attributed to hormones, lack of sleep, nausea, vomiting, a growing belly, discomfort and more. Sometimes the last thing on her mind is her intimate life with you. However, this too shall pass.

For the mean time, try to catch her when she is the most energetic and feeling well. Try being romantic and don't ask any annoying questions about pregnancy or labor. Just concentrate on the two of you.

After the baby comes, set aside time several times a week to just enjoy each other's company. If you can't get out, do something fun together at home. Watch a favorite movie, play a game, order a fancy meal or just drink some hot cocoa with marshmallows and talk. Connecting on this level always helps the intimate life to reignite.

Alison Wood is a stay-at-home mom of six and freelance writer and blogger. She enjoys raising her six children and desires to share her experiences to help other mothers.

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Shena Boltz Oct 7, 2013 11:48:06 PM ET

It's nice to find knowledgeable individuals on this matter, you sound like you recognize what you're talking about! thanks

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