How to Help Your Husband Bond With BabyAlison Wood | 7, September 2013
Bonding with your baby comes so easily to you! You soak in all the giggles, smiles and cuddles. But, sometimes you wonder if your spouse is enjoying your munchkin as much as you.
He always seems busy and caught up with other things. Your heart begins to sadden as you consider that your bundle is missing out on both parents' affection and admiration. Is there anything you can do to encourage bonding between your little one and your mate?
If you know what time your hubby will be walking through the door, then prepare! Get the house clean and dinner in the oven. Take a few minutes and freshen up yourself and your baby. Change his outfit and make sure he is fed, dry and happy! When your spouse comes in the door, don't bombard him with today's happenings. Let him relax and enjoy some time of quiet. Coming home to an atmosphere that seems peaceful and serene, will help your spouse notice the precious bundle in your arms. Stress always has a way of distracting people from things that matter most—relationships.
Talk about the positives.
When your spouse is around, don't complain about sleepless nights, dirty diapers and unending breast-feeding sessions. Instead, brag on how well your munchkin is developing, how he communicates his love to you and about the "Cute" new thing he accomplished today. Positive attitudes are contagious—as well as negative ones. Set the atmosphere of your home with the right attitude!
The last things your spouse needs is over critical remarks like:
"You don't spend much time with the baby."
"You don't seem to like him as much as I do."
"You care more about your car and computer than you do this bundle!"
Those phrases, though some of them may be true, never help the situation. Instead they may only cause more resentment. You cannot change your spouse, but you can encourage improvements through your own life. Many people change when they view someone else living the way they truly desire to live. Stop criticizing and start being an example. It's hard work to keep your mouth closed sometimes, but it's been proven to work! You can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar!
Schedule special trips.
When you and your spouse are away from work, home and other distractions, it is much easier to focus on the new baby. Even a trip to the zoo or museum will give you some time to sit back and focus on just your family unit. If budget allows, plan a weekend trip to the mountains or beach! A serene, natural atmosphere helps you "get away from it all" and at the same time focus on building relationships within your family.
Consider turning off electronics.
Discuss with your spouse the idea of turning off all electronics—cell phones, TV, computer, etc. for one or two hours daily. That time can be focused on just communicating and fellowshipping with your family. It's way too easy to stop cuddling with your bambino when you hear a text message or hear an interesting news story. Those things can wait for an hour or two—you're making memories that will last for a lifetime!
Keep smiling and remember that sometimes people bond with babies in different ways.
Though your spouse may not seem as interested in the newborn, he may become child-centered when the baby becomes a toddler. Men, especially, seem to connect better with munchkins that can walk, run, play ball etc. Until then, just keep trying the above suggestions and enjoy your bundle—and your spouse!
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