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Conceive on Valentine's Day: 10 Ways to Make it Special

| 5, February 2014


Babymaking should never be routine or automatic. When a couple is trying to conceive, sometimes the destination overtakes the journey. You lose sight of one of the biggest reasons you want to make a baby; the love you have for your partner.

If you know you're conception window will fall around Valentine's, lucky you! But don't just circle the day and go at it with the enthusiasm of someone punching a time clock. Bring in equal parts romance and spice for a lover's holiday to remember forever.

1. Plan it well so it appears spontaneous.

OK, that might be a bit overzealous, but try to stay within this ideal. If you wait until the last second to make a special effort, it will look like the equivalent of buying a Christmas gift at 11 pm Christmas Eve at 7-11. Think ahead about what he would enjoy, what you would enjoy together and create space in the calendar to do it all up right. Don't skimp on anything as much as humanly possible, but especially not on time.

2. Focus on all the senses.

Indulge them all for a truly sensuous experience for you both. Hearing? Put together a play list that covers all your favorite love songs, naughty and nice. Visual? Wear something that is guaranteed to catch his eye, something new or almost never seen. Taste? You know what works best; is it chocolate dribbled somewhere interesting or plump strawberries dunked in it? Is it lobster for dinner or some sumptuous pasta dish? Smell? You can't go wrong with some sensual aromatherapy. Some options: orange, ylang ylang, patchouli, vanilla, jasmine and sandalwood. Touch? Massage oil in any of the aforementioned work wonders, and the outfit that catches his eye? Make it silky or satiny and you're ahead of the game.

3. Have a game plan that is multi-stepped.

No hopping into bed. Have a romantic dinner, whether it's out at a favorite restaurant, in your bedroom by candlelight or out on the patio. Then maybe some music or dancing. Change into the special outfit and offer a romantic massage with the aromatic massage oil. Next a shower or bath. For two maybe.

The key is to take some time to indulge yourselves in enjoying each other.

4. Don't forget the sweet in all the spicy.

Buy a blank card and write out some of the very specific things you love about him. Leave it somewhere he can read and enjoy it without being watched over his shoulder by you.

5. Don't forget the spicy in all the sweet.

Send another message, by note, email or text that tells him some other very specific things you appreciate about him or would like him to do to you, or you plan to do to him. Be sure to send it earlier in the day, so the thoughts can come back to him and build up throughout the day.

6. Do not mention babies, conceiving or anything clinical like mucus, ovulation or other such mood-killers.

Maybe that makes your hormones go fever-pitch, but as much as he wants to make a baby too, it does kill the mood in most men. Keep that a separate topic for later, not now.

7. Do what you need to do to feel sexy.

Get your hair and nails done. Just don't do anything too new or extreme. You don't want to cry over Elmo red hair. Buy some new lingerie.

8. Keep the time absolutely distraction-free.

That means no cell phones, television, or visitors. It also means if you suddenly remember during dinner that you didn't pay the cable bill, wait until morning. Don't let reality intrude in any way on your special time this Valentine's.

9. Do the things he loves, even it if's a bit of a stretch for you.

You probably know exactly what I mean. Be indulgent and freer than usual, enjoy your time and your man.

10. Let him know the things you want to do, as well.

He will likely enjoy this even more than #9!

Valentine's Day is for lovers. Remember that's who you two are first and foremost, no matter your drive and desire to be parents. Focus on the first to achieve the second.

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