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Are You Afraid of Pregnancy Test Disappointment?

by Katlyn Joy | February 7, 2014 3:48 PM0 Comments

If you've been trying to get pregnant, chances are it didn't happen the first month. Or the second. According to experts, expect an average of six months. One study broke it down this way; the average couple has sex 104 times before getting pregnant. So patience in planning a baby is definitely a virtue.

But none of that matters when it's you and it's now. Like a kid in line at the ice cream truck, patience can be hard to come by when you are dying for something to happen right this moment. Worse yet, is the anticipation, excitement, and disappointment cycle. Go through that ride one too many times and you are afraid to even think about finding out if you are indeed expecting a baby yet or not.

Some women do everything they can after experiencing the crush of repeated disappointment to avoid that feeling. They pretend they don't notice that red circle on the calendar, signifying day 28. (Or whatever the woman's average cycle length is.) They shrug when asked if they are late. "Oh, I don't even know. I've been so busy, I've not given it a thought yet." If this is indeed true, that's great for them. But likely as not, that's not you.

You are the woman who has asked herself every day for the past two weeks, "Are my nipples getting sore? Not period-starting sore, but getting ready for a baby sore?" or "Was that chicken salad past the expiration date, or am I starting to feel a bit nauseated as if I'm beginning morning sickness?" or even, "I have a good feeling this month! Don't I?"

After too many pregnancy tests that stare blankly back at you, almost accusingly, "No! You're not pregnant! Nope!" you don't want to go through it another month. You are reluctant to even buy the test at the store to check. You don't want another cashier to smile knowingly at you, or worse yet, someone to actually say a positive comment about pregnancy to you. You want to be so stealthy about it YOU don't even know you are possibly pregnant.

If you have become gun-shy about the whole pregnancy test ordeal each month, come up with a new game plan to preserve your sanity and not set you up for what you feel is failure if you don't get the news you are ever so anxiously awaiting.

1. Buy the test somewhere different each month.

Sure, it's a little detail but it's better than getting paranoid that the same cashier for the past five months has rung you up when purchasing the pregnancy test. You half expect a sympathy card in your bag when you get home.

2. Set a definite testing window ahead of time.

Just put it on the calendar, maybe with a yellow dot as a clever signal to yourself only, and do it. Don't hem and haw, lollygag or draw it out as a type of inadvertent torture.

3. As soon as you set the time, plan for something to do immediately afterwards.

Don't leave yourself wallowing in disappointment. Plan for the disappointment, and get it over with. Cuss. Punch a stuffed animal. Make obscene gestures at the first mother on TV on a diaper commercial. Then get on to something fun. Plan for lunch with a good, non-intrusive, non-judgmental friend. Go to the mall and buy something for yourself. Catch a movie. Head to the gym and work out, really hard. Just do something! Leave yourself no idle window to fill up with self pity.

4. Set a limit.

If you haven't seen a doctor yet about conceiving, set a time limit that takes into account how old you are, how old your man is and yes, that does indeed matter and how long you've been trying.

5. If it's overwhelming you, stop.

Sometimes we need a break. If you have been on the infertility roller coaster, step off the ride for a cycle or two and just focus on being you. On being a couple. On having a full life, uninterrupted by fertility charts, medications or looking at cervical mucus.

6. Don't test alone, if that's been your usual MO.

Wait until your husband is home and make him read the stick for once. Have a friend over and then eat insane amounts of luxury chocolate afterwards. To comfort or celebrate, either way, the day ends in chocolate with a friend or your love.

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