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10 Things Pregnant Women Do Not Want to Discuss

by Katlyn Joy | August 23, 2014 12:00 AM
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Every woman and each pregnancy is different, but there are some general trends that can't be ignored. Want to stress out, irritate or basically annoy an expectant mom? Try talking to them about any of these things.

1. Are you pregnant?

This is for early pregnancy. Not everyone wants to tell about their pregnancy right away. This can be particularly sticky at work, when you are worried about the timing of the announcement. Why would you want to tell an acquaintance before you tell your mother?

2. How far along are you? How much weight have you gained?

This should be obvious, but pregnant women are often surprised by the level of intrusive questions directed at them at times. No one likes talking about the weight gain, and sometimes the "How far along?" question is a thinly veiled way of saying, "Whoa, you are so-oooo big!"

3. Is it a boy or girl?

This is related to number one. You may know but are keeping it a secret, or you may be waiting to find out in the delivery room. It can get bothersome to explain this a dozen times a week. Plus, no matter what you say, you're likely to be told that the gender you are carrying is the hardest one to raise.

4. Are you breastfeeding?

While this is a simple inquiry, you may not feel like discussing engorgement, sore nipples or having a debate on the bottle versus the breast. You may still be weighing your options, and like some advice, but pregnant women should decide when and where those topics are discussed.

5. Are you having a natural birth?

You can be planning any type of birth, but all the planning in the world cannot give you clairvoyance about the details of your labor and delivery. If you've never had a baby before, you can't know how you'll react to the labor, what situations may arise that you were not expecting, or the specifics of your birth. If you've had a baby, you'll find out each birth is a unique experience.

6. Was this a planned pregnancy?

This one should elicit as a response only the word, "Wow." People can be extraordinarily nosy, and pregnant women seem to be a real target for those folks. Of course, do not indulge the person's inappropriate curiosity. Why should you reveal something that personal?

7. Are you scared about giving birth?

Generally, the people who ask this have a horrific birth story loaded to go. Don't get sucked into this one. You do not need to hear anyone's gruesome story about an episiotomy that reached the tailbone or the 89-hour labor.

8. Are you excited about the baby?

This one is typically directed at an older sibling. Problem is, depending on the child, you may not have even told your child about the baby yet. Or what if your child is having a hard time getting used to the idea? Well-meaning strangers can set off an afternoon of tears or tantrums.

9. You don't eat ______, or use _______ or go to _______, do you?

This is when people who are partially informed play doctor for you, advising you on dangers of everything from bandaids to tuna. You need to screen the information you are given, and ask your doctor if you have legitimate questions about the safety of any food or activity.

10. What are you going to name the baby?

Seems like a harmless question, but in some families this may be a point of contention. What if the paternal grandfather is expecting a boy to be named after him, but you want a cool name you put together? People may grumble or whisper after baby is born and named some, but if you say anything before baby arrives, people feel much freer to speak their opinions, no matter how harsh about a name. Also, if you have found the perfect name, you don't want it to get out there and be used in your circles before you get to name your baby!

Dealing with rude or well-intentioned curious people doesn't have to be a headache. Most the time, you can feign ignorance or smile politely and move on. Don't reveal anything you don't want to, however. You don't have to answer every question asked.


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