Couvade Syndrome (Sympathy Pains)
As if enduring your wife’s moods while she’s enduring the discomforts of pregnancy isn’t enough, some men kick it up a notch and join their mates in the fun on a physical level. Although few men have ever heard of Couvade syndrome, researchers tell us that this phenomenon – in which men experience physical symptoms and pains associated with late-stage pregnancy – is surprisingly common. The name derives from the French word, couver, which means, “to hatch”.
Although symptoms are psychosomatic – meaning that they are entirely generated by the mind – the physical discomforts experienced by men afflicted with Couvade syndrome are nevertheless very real. They include any number of the usual suspects: indigestion, nausea, vomiting, insomnia, oscillating appetite, weight gain, diarrhea (or its corollary, constipation), headache, toothache, itchy skin and even backache.
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Curious but common?
While it’s been described as “common” among expectant fathers, (occurring in up to 80% of expectant dads, according to one estimate), a look at the criteria for inclusion under the Couvade umbrella elicits a certain amount of skepticism. What expectant father hasn’t experienced a little insomnia or an occasional headache? Can you say ‘understandable stress’? If these occasional, more common complaints are screened out, it seems likely that full-blown Couvade syndrome is a rare entity indeed. Men who experience symptoms that seem truly unbelievable, such as abdominal muscle spasms during labor and delivery, probably number among only five to ten percent of the expectant father population.
To be sure, some researchers deny the existence of the condition altogether: One small European study failed to identify any statistically significant occurrence of the condition among its study population. On the other hand, some experts claim that the syndrome is actually becoming more common among Western men as their roles in childbirth and childcare continue to morph from distant provider to a more nurturing, active caregiver role.
Expectant fathers who think pregnancy is already grueling enough without enduring bloating, constipation and nausea on a personal level can take comfort from the knowledge that onset of symptoms usually does not occur until the late stages of pregnancy, although some men begin manifesting symptoms of sympathetic pregnancy as early as the end of the first trimester. Blessedly, much like the real pregnancy it mimics, Couvade’s symptoms disappear after the baby is delivered. So Couvade has a surefire cure: birth.
Reverse penis envy anyone?
Numerous explanations for this bizarre display of male mind-over-matter have been proposed. Most experts concede that there is probably no single explanation for the phenomenon. Indeed, a wide variety of factors may play a role in triggering Couvade. Some see Couvade as an expression of pseudo-sibling rivalry (‘if my wife can do it, so can I’). Other explanations include: somatized anxiety (think of this as pregnancy jitters that manifest as physical symptoms), identification with the fetus, sympathy for one’s partner, or ambivalence about fatherhood. Then there’s the ever-popular theory of reverse penis envy (womb envy?), the belief that Couvade is an expression of guilt over having impregnated one’s partner, or the explanation that Couvade represents a man’s attempt to assert his paternity. Seems a little extreme, but apparently some man will go to any lengths to be fathers. And indeed, there’s speculation that Couvade is more common among couples that have experienced infertility difficulties.
We are the world
Couvade evidently knows no particular ethnic or socioeconomic boundaries. It has been documented in a wide variety of cultures around the world. Some researchers draw a comparison between modern Couvade syndrome and ancient primitive initiation-into-paternity rituals. And you thought shopping for nursery furniture was torture enough.
In any event, the most common symptoms associated with modern Couvade include appetite changes, insomnia and weight gain. Again, it seems only natural that a stressed-out expectant father should respond to the anxiety of pregnancy by losing a little sleep or losing his appetite. But some men get so incredibly wrapped up in their pseudo-pregnancies that they actually experience stomach spasms during their partners’ labor.
In one study of this otherwise little-understood syndrome, a whopping 92% of men experiencing some Couvade symptoms reported a “strong emotional involvement” with the pregnancy. While it can’t necessarily be concluded that deep feelings about one’s baby can trigger Couvade, it is true that Couvade and strong feelings about the fetus are almost always related, in some manner.
What should you do if you feel you are becoming a Couvade dad? Discuss you concerns with your mate and, if things do not improve, talk with your wife’s OB/GYN.
About The Author: Dale Kiefer is a free-lance writer living in northern New Jersey with his wife and two young sons. Born in New Jersey some 40 years ago, Dale was raised in Kentucky, where he spent most of his life, graduating from the University of Kentucky with a degree in Biological Sciences. You can see more of Dale's articles at his Suite 101 page devoted to expectant fathers
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