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  • momagain36 09-20-08 | 11:23 PM
  • Rhonda here. I'm in the middle of my first miscarriage.
    15 dpIUI: HCG levels at 99.
    19 dpIUI: HCG levels were 240.
    21 dpIUI: HCG levels were 58.
    22....started spotting
    23...heavy bleeding.
    This was my second IUI. We had planned on two more tries & still have one vial left at the clinic. Hubby is not sure he'll let me try again.

    Am I normal?? On Monday they knew I had a threatened pregnancy. I prayed but also prepared for the worst. On Wednesday they confirmed that with HCG at 58 I had lost the baby. I cried & laid up in the bed for 5 hours. Then broke down & cried off & on all day & night on Wednesday. Thursday I was okay until I saw the spotting...I freaked & went back to my bed...cried & stayed there most of the night. Friday I was fine emotionally. I knew I had done nothing wrong & carried no blame in the loss of the baby. Last night I passed the "stuff" from the pregnancy....grayish clumps & such. I freaked again. But didn't go to bed. Today I am fine. It just seems so early to be okay.

    How long till I stop bleeding? When do you count it as a miscarriage...when numbers dropped too low? When bleeding started? When bleeding stopped? The clinic Nurse said about 4 weeks after a miscarriage I should start my period again. But I don't know when the miscarriage is considered ended or started for that matter.

    Last edited by momagain36; 09-20-08 at 11:25 PM..
Thank you momagain36!
Dopey406 (09-25-08)
  • Keepers Keepers's Avatar 09-21-08 | 09:17 AM
  • I am so sorry for your loss, I am not for certain when you actually consider it a loss, I would assume when your numbers started dropping the you were having a miscarriage, but I am sure someone here can give you better advice. I was just wanting to tell you I am sorry.
  • Oreo Oreo's Avatar 09-21-08 | 09:50 AM
  • Hi Rhonda!


    I am so sorry you are facing this. I did the same thing when I had both of my miscarriages-- I stayed in bed and cried and cried. I hope your heart is healing. You'll probably have a few rebound days where it comes back to you with fresh tears. It's just never easy and there is no "right" amount of time.

    I've always considered the miscarriage beginning when the numbers begin to drop. I'd say you'll probably get your period about a month after the bleeding ends, the same way you'd count it normally.

    Deciding to try again is a very personal choice and you and your DH should sit down when your emotions are much less raw and have a serious heart-to-heart on the matter. I'm sure he only wants to protect you and spare you. While no one can say you will have another miscarriage, no one can promise you a healthy pregnancy either and that is a risk you both need to be able to take together.

    Take care of yourself, rest, grieve, and heal.

Thank you Oreo!
Dopey406 (09-25-08)
  • Dopey406 Dopey406's Avatar 09-25-08 | 08:24 AM

    I'm sorry that you're experiencing this. I've gone through the same rollercoaser of emotions during my five miscarriages.

    Oreo is right--there's no prescribed amount of time that it will take to feel "better" or "whole" again. Unfortunately, you'll always have a piece of that baby with you. But I can tell you that with time, comes healing. Don't mistake the word "healing" for "forgetting"--that never happens. But I received assurance over time and have healed the wholes in my "Mommy heart". They'll always be scabbed but at least they're not so raw.

    These moments are not the time to be discussing what to do next.
    Now is the time to be comforting one another and allowing yourselves to grieve. When there are more sunny days than dark days, you can start the conversations but vow to make no decisions right away.

    I always counted my losses on the days I had a D&C or when I knew I'd passed the baby. For me, it was that definitive moment so I needed that mark in time. For each woman, that time is different--and you'll need to make that choice for yourself. I always held out hope until that last second so I didn't count that baby as gone until it was truly gone.

    Again, you have my deepest sympathies and if you need to talk, please feel free to PM me.

    Take care of you.

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