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on pins and needles here

on pins and needles here

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  • eds1999 eds1999's Avatar 12-29-07 | 11:17 AM
  • yeah, this is really dumb, but i feel like i'm on edge, just WAITING for my SIL to get pg. ever since she told me she was off BCP's its like i'm waiting to get all upset over it. BUT the farther away I get from my last TTC (and we're taking a break here), the less antsy I feel. Maybe it would be better if she gets pg while i'm not ttc and then its not like i have to face another disappointment... this is a convoluted mess i know. i think dh thinks im going crazy. if you read my last post, this is repetetive, but this is like deja vu from two years ago. cousin pg, sil pg, me with more problems. ugh.
    [SIZE=2]i wonder if we started back up with iui's too soon after the m/c. i dont' know when we'll start again. for the last month dh and i have talked a whole lot, but since all the christmas hustle bustle we've let it go. for a while there i was crying uncontrollably every single day for like 2 weeks and that is NOT like me. i've since relaxed. its been nice not thinking baby stuff, but just when its out of mind, someone else in my family either gets the pg bug or decides to get pg again. always in the midst of my grief (what do i expect-people to stop reproducing!
    [SIZE=2]so i had a good christmas, but i am on pins and needles as to what the new year will bring. i hope i don't wig out and that i can enjoy new beginnings for other people, and hopefully myself![/SIZE]
  • Dopey406 Dopey406's Avatar 12-29-07 | 11:58 AM

    I know--it's hard when you want something so badly and other people "live your dream" without much work.

    Hang in there. Hopefully 2008 will be your year.
  • Oreo Oreo's Avatar 12-29-07 | 02:45 PM

    I have felt that before!! I hope you are able to let go of the things you can't control like SIL -- not easy -- I KNOW!! But, it may make you much happier!

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