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SO ready to wean

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  • Chris10brink Chris10brink's Avatar 09-20-04 | 10:12 PM
  • Hi ladies. I don't post here much, but you may remember me. My Melody is almost 22 months old and still nursing 3x per day. I just can't break her nurse/sleep association, and she is very attached to nursing first thing in the morning and I just can't make her cry. I've been telling her that soon she will be two and she'll be a big girl, and big girls don't nurse, so she goes through a list of everyone she knows... annie no nursin? Casey no nursin? And each time I say no, they're big.. they don't nurse. And this way I've been able to cut down the bedtime nurse to like 5 minutes, then she falls asleep on her own (in my arms). But she won't fall asleep on her own at naptime so it looks like if I really want to wean she has to give up naps.

    I am so torn about this, but I am really feeling like I'm done with it, and I really think she should be learning to go to sleep on her own, and well... I think 2 years is long enough!!
    But I don't want to take the comfort away from her and a friend of mine is like, as long as she's not NIP then who cares? Just let her nurse until she is ready to give it up... but really I am scared that that may be till she's 5, and well, I can't do that... okay I'm rambling but I wanted to see what you all think. My first plan was to wean at 1 year, but by the time she was 11 months i knew that would be impossible, and my ped. encouraged me to keep going, and I wasn't ready to give it up either.. now I am.
  • :domesticgoddess: :domesticgoddess:'s Avatar 09-20-04 | 10:21 PM
  • I felt like one of my sons would nurse forever. We nursed until he was 2 and then I told him he was a big boy. He didn't quit cold turkey or anything, but he was ready to give it up. I too hate making my babies cry and I don't want to take something away that they REALLY enjoy and need, but if you're done, you're done and after nursing for this long, there is no shame in that.
  • Valleygirl Valleygirl's Avatar 09-20-04 | 10:33 PM
  • Chris I am in the same boat. Rachel is down to only nursing at bedtime and naptime on the weekends. She nurses for maybe 10 minutes. Well Dh has really been on me about weaning her and so I told him tonight I would put her to bed with no boob. He has wanted me to wean her since she was 1 year, and I have continued for another year. She is 2 now and I guess I am ready to stop also, but I am going to miss that particular bond. I will let you know how it goes.
  • Phalene Phalene's Avatar 09-21-04 | 10:55 AM
  • Definately take is slow, and I would recommend trying to drop one feeding at a time. For my son, the last nursing session he dropped was the one just before bed and the one before that was the nap time one.

    For the nap, I would sit in a chair (not the one we nursed in) and he would usually cry, laying on my shoulder until he fell asleep. Then I would lay him down. After a couple of days he would just crawl up on me and lay on my shoulder to fall asleep. Then he'd lay down on the chair or couch or bed and fall asleep on his own.

    For nighttime, I would let him nurse for 5 minutes max, then go to bed with him and read him stories, then lay with him until he fell asleep. After he got used to only a couple of minutes of nursing, I let him stay up a little later than usual, and then just took him to be and read to him. It took a week or 2, but it wasn't tramautic for him and I feel that we were both ready since it was fairly easy.

    He was 32 months old when he weaned, and to be honest, even now at 3 years he still occasionally asks for a 'side'-he asked last night. I just told him no, and we read another story.

    Vicki Lynn
  • NicholeMatthew NicholeMatthew's Avatar 09-21-04 | 11:07 AM
  • Lets see.. if Kevin didn't nurse forever, I'm SURE Melody won't nurse forever. Because at 2 Kevin was still nursing 5 times a day!
    (and to think, Aiden was born and nursing tooooo!) How did I get through that??? I don't even know.
    Anyhow... With Kevin, I planned on nursing 1 year... then 2 years... well when he was 2 and wouldn't even sleep without nursing, I said ok we'll continue until he self weans (seeing most kids do it around 2 1/2 from what I read) well no luck... so on his 3 rd Birthday we went cold turkey. (ok the day AFTER his 3rd birthday) I told him he was a big boy and no more nursing... didn't go well... at all. Actually it didn't go too bad either..... but the first 2 weeks were the toughest. I tried gradually cutting back, and well that didn't work. But now he is stuck that he still needs to cuddle with SOMEONE before falling asleep. This is not good for me since I"m single momming it for the time being, and well... baby due in 3 weeks.

    ANYHOW... Aiden is now nursing, once in a while. If I want him to nap
    he has to nurse to sleep. OK. FINE by me (after all I did nurse Kevin and Aiden so what is 1 nap every weekend???) Not bad at all... At night it is 50/50 actually more like 60/40 Most nights he doesn't want to nurse to sleep, there are nights where he does though... BUT, he is a cuddler too! He wants me to hold him to fall asleep!
    I hope this baby sleeps on her own.. (doubt it) but I can hope right?? Anyhow we are nursing probably 3-5 times a week... I'm sure Aiden will wean himself fine and dandy, if not, well he has til 3 but I honestly can't see him nursing that long. He doesn't do it sooo much now.

    Now that I rambled... I would suggest a bed time ritual type thing. Since Melody (and Rachel Valleygirl) are the same age as Aiden, this has been a great help. Some nights we MUST nurse, but there are others where he just goes to sleep on his own. We read 1 (or 2 if they are good) bed time stories (cinderella/snow white- kevin's faves) and Aiden will play-relax while we read. He doesn't always listen, but if I read his books (Barney) he will listen.... then we turn off the light and lay down.

    With Kevin, I did do a gradual, 10 minute nursing to sleep.. than 5 minutes... then no more.. Just at night. That way, it wasn't soooo cold turkey. And that seemed to help too.

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