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The Ride is Over

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  • jjello 12-22-05 | 03:27 PM
  • I just got The Call and my beta dropped in half, so it seems I'm at the end of the road. I still need to have more bloodwork done next week to be sure that everything gets resolved and my levels drop to zero.

    I'm OK more or less except for this awful leaden feeling in the pit of my stomach - I feel like a complete failure, like, why can't I do what the rest of the human race does so easily and effortlessly, which is ridiculous.

    The one positive thing is that this is OVER, and thank god for that because I am so heartliy SICK OF ALL OF IT!!!!

    DH is coming home early with a bottle of wine (OK'd by the clinic) and I have an open date anytime for pomegranite martinis with friends. And I'm going exercise again, buy a ticket to the DR, wear a bikini and get a beautiful tan, so F YOU, infertility!!!!!!

    Thanks for listening.

  • JessH 12-22-05 | 03:39 PM
  • hi julie,

    i have not posted to this site in a long time and i am sorry to hear your news. i love your attitude, that is f you infertility, that will be my new slogin also. i was so happy when it was over and i made my decision to take a very long break from this. i know it will be hard because it seems as if everyone but us is pregnant and i am sick of it not being me but i am so happy to feel like a normal person again. we will just put on our smiles for the pg people and pray someday it is us. have some wine and fun getting back to your normal self, i know i have enoyed it. at least you and your hubby can have a nice romantic evening. best wishes in what is to come and the decisin you make as for me i will be moving to the adoption board which i am finally ready for and very excited about( plus i won't get the stretch marks but i will still get a beautiful child) best of wishes and don't forget that you need to cry your eyes and punch some pillows. best wishes
  • Mary-Ellen Mary-Ellen's Avatar 12-22-05 | 04:01 PM
  • I'm so sorry Julie.
    You have the right idea. After my last bfn, DH and I went on a trip to Bahamas and baked in the sun and drank pina coladas! It's really the only thing that made me feel a little better. It was nice, getting away form it all.
    Take care of yourself.
  • JagsAli JagsAli's Avatar 12-22-05 | 04:05 PM
  • Julie I am sorry as well. Have lots of drinks, cry, let dh care for you and take a trip, I did the same my first m/c....went to the Bahamas, last Christmas and drank, drank and drank some more. Grieve and most of all take care of yourself. I am crying for you.
  • lkeim lkeim's Avatar 12-22-05 | 04:12 PM
  • Oh crap Julie. I'm so sorry. It all really does sucks. It's such a crap shoot. Pomegranite martinis sounds really really good. So does the DR. I'm going to need a vacation after this is all over too. But this is about you and I just can't believe it. Do they say anything about doing it again? I know you can't think about the right now. Just wondering. SHIT! L

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