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Baby Corner Message Board > Pregnancy Message Boards > January - March Due Date Club On a different team than expected...



On a different team than expected...

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Old 10-20-09, 02:47 PM
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glad to hear you are growing a healthy baby!!! and that is great news that DH is not a carrier of CF!! one less thing you have to worry about.
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Thank you MImom23!
wymeg (10-20-09)
 
Old 10-20-09, 11:55 PM
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So you will have 3 boys? Me too!

I haven't really told anyone this, but here's my experience from a couple months back...

I really thought I was having a girl this time too. I was ok with it until I told Josh it was a brother and his little face fell. When he would talk about a sister, I kept telling him it could be a brother, but still I felt like I was letting him down. He kept saying "But it's supposed to be a sister mommy." It broke my heart. Then, when we told the family you could just tell they were disappointed. It really was bad when they were asking me if I was "ok" and saying they "felt bad for me" like this was such a tragedy. Even though I *was* a little disappointed, it made me mad that people acted like it was "bad" news. It's a healthy baby (like you said) for goodness sakes!

I didn't really say anything on here because I felt like such an a$$, but I said I was fine with it, etc and I guess I thought I was. I went out right away and started buying boy stuff. We picked out a name I love. DH is thrilled to be having 3 boys and has been celebrating since we found out. There was just one deep, dark, night, where I cried. It's not that I was crying about *this baby* being a boy. Now that I know he's a boy, I wouldn't want to trade him in for the world. I was crying for the girl I know I'll never have. I know we're done with kids after this. Even if I were guaranteed a girl, I think 3 is the most we can handle financially and to have the time to spend with each of them.

I was also mad at dh for not even asking if I was ok with it. When I asked him how he'd feel if he was memorizing which Barbie dolls they had, instead of which tractors and cars, he kind of understood. My mother is disabled, and we have our differences now, but we were very close growing up. I'm sad that I won't have that mother-daughter bond with anyone. Plus, Josh keeps saying he has the perfect name for when we have a sister.

I haven't cried since then about it, and have gotten everyone excited about our new little blessing. Josh is totally on board, and it won't be long now till he's here.

So anyway, I think it's natural to be a little sad if you thought you were having one gender and it turns out to be another. Sorry if I hijacked your thread.
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Thank you 3Princes!
wymeg (10-21-09)
 
Old 10-21-09, 12:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QTeach333
 
So you will have 3 boys? Me too!

I haven't really told anyone this, but here's my experience from a couple months back...

I really thought I was having a girl this time too. I was ok with it until I told Josh it was a brother and his little face fell. When he would talk about a sister, I kept telling him it could be a brother, but still I felt like I was letting him down. He kept saying "But it's supposed to be a sister mommy." It broke my heart. Then, when we told the family you could just tell they were disappointed. It really was bad when they were asking me if I was "ok" and saying they "felt bad for me" like this was such a tragedy. Even though I *was* a little disappointed, it made me mad that people acted like it was "bad" news. It's a healthy baby (like you said) for goodness sakes!

I didn't really say anything on here because I felt like such an a$$, but I said I was fine with it, etc and I guess I thought I was. I went out right away and started buying boy stuff. We picked out a name I love. DH is thrilled to be having 3 boys and has been celebrating since we found out. There was just one deep, dark, night, where I cried. It's not that I was crying about *this baby* being a boy. Now that I know he's a boy, I wouldn't want to trade him in for the world. I was crying for the girl I know I'll never have. I know we're done with kids after this. Even if I were guaranteed a girl, I think 3 is the most we can handle financially and to have the time to spend with each of them.

I was also mad at dh for not even asking if I was ok with it. When I asked him how he'd feel if he was memorizing which Barbie dolls they had, instead of which tractors and cars, he kind of understood. My mother is disabled, and we have our differences now, but we were very close growing up. I'm sad that I won't have that mother-daughter bond with anyone. Plus, Josh keeps saying he has the perfect name for when we have a sister.

I haven't cried since then about it, and have gotten everyone excited about our new little blessing. Josh is totally on board, and it won't be long now till he's here.

So anyway, I think it's natural to be a little sad if you thought you were having one gender and it turns out to be another. Sorry if I hijacked your thread.
You said it more perfectly than I ever could. I am so thankful for this healthy baby boy. I too know this is our last and the reality of never having those mother daughter moments is really hard. I started crying while reading your post because it is exactly how I feel. I love this baby for who he is and its not so much dissappointment for him but for what will never be. I wanted to give my mom a grandaughter (it is all grandsons in the family). She is not upset she is just thilled to be havig a healthy grandbaby!
I thank you so much for your reply. My DH never asked me how I feel either. I have just been strong in front of him because I don't think I could explain it. I hope no one else judges me, because I am soooooo thrilled to be blessed with another boy. I just wish we could afford to try one more time but we just don't have the money and this pregnancy has been so hard on me physically. I know we are done.
Thank you again for your thoughts, I hope my reply made sense.
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Old 10-21-09, 10:30 PM
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Glad I could make you feel more normal.
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Old 10-22-09, 09:28 PM
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I think it's neat when people have three boys- think of the fun they will all have together! I always think of Home Improvement, lol.
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