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  • MommyBrown MommyBrown's Avatar 09-12-08 | 03:25 PM
  • I've decided that I'm tired of the pregnancy hormones and mood swings. I feel like crap all the time and most of it stems from hubby. I feel like he doesn't pay any attention to me.
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    On top of all that, because of the whole "I feel like he doesn't notice anything about me" I sometimes will hide from him if I'm having a lot of back pain because I feel like, even if he knew I was hurting, he wouldn't care. There have a been a few times that it was so bad I hid in the bathroom and cried. But, it's hard to show that pain to someone when you feel like they aren't paying attention to you anyway.<o:p></o:p>
    I guess I just wish my hubby was a little more sensitive and loving toward me. You know, in the duration of, now, two pregnancies, I have gotten one foot rub, because during our cross country move my ankles were swollen, and one back massage, which was done using a massaging machine and after three minutes he asked me how much more I wanted. I almost have to force him to just put lotion on my back when I get one of the itchy spells. I never want to ask him to do anything I always get the same response...a deep, loud sigh and rolling eyes. <o:p></o:p>
    It sucks being in a new area and not having any family or friends around to help out and to talk to. I just feel like I have no one to talk to about any of this because I know that if I bring it up to him he will just blame it on the fact that I'm pregnant. And he'll get pissed because I feel like this at all. Instead of trying to make me feel better and make my insecurities go away, he will make me feel worse about feeling like this and it will push him even further away. Maybe I should try to talk to him though and just hope for the best.<o:p></o:p>
    I know all of you probably think I have some major issues with my "Stressed Out" thread and now all this. Like I said, I feel like I have no one to talk to with no friends or family close by and there's no way I could get through a phone conversation with anyone talking about this. But, I do feel better being able to have some way of getting it all out. And I appreciate the comments back from you. So, since I've got your attention (LOL) any one else have, or have had, these feelings? Any suggestions on how to bring it up to hubby?<o:p></o:p>
    Thanks ladies


    Last edited by MommyBrown; 09-12-08 at 03:33 PM..
  • countrycutieluv countrycutieluv's Avatar 09-12-08 | 07:46 PM

    I am sorry.I never really had that experience with the hubby.I wish there was something I could say or do to make it better.I know this is a very tough time for you especially being pregnant.All I can do is suggest talking to him.Explain it all like you just did to us,and tell him how it makes you feel.
    I know he sounds like he isn't approachable but it's not healthy for you or the kids (baby included) to feel like this,children can sense it.I really hope he understands and listens.
  • jaedrae jaedrae's Avatar 09-12-08 | 08:13 PM
  • I am so sorry that he isn't noticing your pain. I was just thinking about writing a little vent about things at my house too. My issues are more about DH getting stuff done around the house because I am a nesting fool, but I have been so frustrated.
    I would be really hurt if my DH wasn't paying attention to me. I would talk to him. I know that it is scary because you feel like he may not understand, but I think it would be worth it. Maybe just tell him that you miss him and ask him why he has been so distant? I am no expert though. I am sure someone on here will have a good idea. Hope you feel better soon!
  • jillrn jillrn's Avatar 09-12-08 | 10:56 PM
  • I'm with ya- my dh could absolutely care less.
  • Valleygirl Valleygirl's Avatar 09-12-08 | 11:29 PM
  • I am sorry Dh is not being sensitive to you right now. Now this is just me playing devil's advocate, but do you think the reason he is not being affectionate is he knows that it can't lead to anything? You know men unless there is
    in sight they don't see a reason for the snuggle kissy stuff. Maybe he thinks by playing with your son and the dog he is helping you and showing you he cares, you know getting your son out of your hair so you can be less stressed when cooking and such.

    In anycase I hope that you guys get back on track soon. Remember he can't know how your feeling if you don't tell him. My poor Dh knows exactly how I feel about him when I am not happy, and I have to admit it isn't even mostly his fault.

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