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It's over, but I am still in shock.

It's over, but I am still in shock.

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  • MrsS1stbaby MrsS1stbaby's Avatar 04-29-10 | 09:05 AM
  • I had my 1st exam yesterday, at 8.5 weeks. The doctor wanted to do the vaginal ultrasound and she actually did it twice. The 1st time she said I needed to go pee again b/c my full bladder was making it to hard to see anything. Then the 2nd time she found it & even showed it to me, but didn't say much of anything else. Then they turned the light on and she asked me if I was positive about when my last period was......b/c the baby was only measuring 6 weeks.....and she couldn't see a heartbeat. She said it looks like the baby stopped growing 2 weeks ago. Needless to say, I am heartbroken & so confused. How can this be? What if she is wrong? I mean babies are born all different sizes, why can't they be on the small side while still in utero? And how soon can they see a heartbeat with those types of ultrasounds? What if I was truly only 6 weeks...would they have expected to see one?

    They are supposed to call me today to schedule the D&C and said if I want them to check again, they will schedule that for a day or 2 before. I want to check again, but I am afraid of hearing the same news again. But I am also afraid of just doing the D&C without being 100% sure. B/C if they were wrong.....well, it would like having an abortion wouldn't it? Is there any chance they are wrong?

    Dh says he is sad, but he's also like, "hey, it happens. We'll just try again and if happens again, we'll just keep trying. Of course that depends on how many you can handle." I know he is not trying to be insensitive, but I don't know how soon I want to jump back in the saddle so to speak. He even asked me how soon after the procedure can you start trying again. His aunt had 4 miscarriages before she had her 1st child & then 3 more miscarriges before she had her 2nd.

    This is all so surreal. My body still feels pregnant; my boobs are sore, I'm tired & hungry. And the doc said if I took a pg test it would say I'm pregnant....but the fetus is no longer viable. I feel like this is all my fault. I've been so un-happy lately with other things in my life and wishing things were different.....did I wish this on myself? Is this b/c I kept drinking a cup of coffee every morning? Is it b/c I did't take the extra folic acid like the dr said I should? The dr said at this stage it is usually chromosonial and that it is nothing I could have done. I was too upset to ask what chromosonial meant.
  • Keepers Keepers's Avatar 04-29-10 | 09:21 AM
  • OH I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you.
    I would for sure go have another scan done. There is a chance that you have a small baby in there & that HB just wasnt detected just yet. I dont have much advise for you but wanted to know that we are thinking about you.
Thank you Keepers!
MrsS1stbaby (04-29-10)
  • savannah33 savannah33's Avatar 04-29-10 | 09:28 AM

    I'm sorry , don't ever think it's something you did. There are so many m/c that happen and it's not anyones fault it's just that the baby did not develop as they should. I don't want to sound callous but it's just natures way of stopping a baby that was not going to develop normal.
    I know that hurts. I had a m/c myself and they saw the heartbeat at 6.5 weeks but it was low , then at 8 weeks it was there and I had several vaginal u/s to see the baby / check on progress and it was not progressing normal but I didn't really ask too many questions and they didn't offer a lot of advice but at 10 weeks there was no heartbeat and I had the d&c. Very emotional time as you know.
    My heart goes out to you and there is always a chance it was wrong but the vaginal u/s is pretty accurate. I would definitely have another one before the d&c. They did mine at the hospital just a few minutes before the procedure as part of the process.

    for you.
Thank you savannah33!
MrsS1stbaby (04-29-10)
  • Valleygirl Valleygirl's Avatar 04-29-10 | 09:43 AM
  • Listen to me...
    You in no way shape or form wished this on yourself, you did NOTHING to cause this. Even being sad or unhappy would not have caused this. Your husband is right ... it happens. Sometimes we find out why, but most often we never know. Feeling the way you do and being unsure you need to have that u/s before they do the d & c, you can't be second guessing yourself over this it will only add more pain to your already broken heart.
    I am so sorry this has happened. I have lost 3 babies myself and I know how sad, confusing, and heartbreaking this is.
    You are in my thoughts.

3 Users Says Thank You
3Princes (04-29-10), MrsS1stbaby (04-29-10), savannah33 (04-29-10)
  • countrycutieluv countrycutieluv's Avatar 04-29-10 | 10:10 AM


    You didn't do anything wrong and its not your fault in ANY way! I would ask for a u/s before the D&C to ease your mind and to be sure they are right.

    I'm sorry you are going through this.....Like others I have lost several so I know were your heart and mind are.
    I'm sorry again and I will keep you in my thoughts.
Thank you countrycutieluv!
MrsS1stbaby (04-29-10)

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