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Stressing out---sorry this one is long

Stressing out---sorry this one is long

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  • MommyBrown MommyBrown's Avatar 09-02-08 | 12:18 PM
  • Okay, so I'm starting to stress out about this baby coming. I have absolutely nothing ready...including the nursery. And I'm so afraid something is going to go wrong. I know it's not good for the baby for me to have these feelings of stress and worry, so I'm hoping that writing it on here will help me at least a little. So, I'll start from the beginning.

    When I was pregnant with my son, I spent 5 days in the hospital at 30 weeks because the doctors said that I was having premature labor signs. This was really hard on me because my hubby is in the Navy and he was deployed at the time. They were able to get the labor to stop and I was sent home on bed rest. My son ended up being born almost 6 weeks early; only 4 weeks after I had gotten out of the hospital...luckily hubby was back by then. My doctor said that I had preclampsia and that is what caused the premature birth. One good thing that came of the first hospital stay was that I'd already had the steroid shots, so my sons lungs were fully developed and ready to go. Since he was early, I hadn't taken any birthing classes, I had just signed up for one and it was still two weeks away, which meant I had absolutely no clue on how to push and all that. So, on March 17th, my mom and mother-in-law threw me a baby shower, which was done over the internet because I was in Washington, my mom is in Indiana, and my mother-in-law is in Texas. It was great, we got everything we needed to get started. The next day, the 18th, my hubby went and cleaned the car, inside and out, and put the carseat in while I put the away the other gifts; i.e. the bedding for the crib and so forth. So, by that afternoon everything was ready...6 weeks early so we thought. By 7pm I was timing contractions at 5-10 minutes apart, so I called L&D and they said that it was normal. That is, until I told the nurse that I was barely past 34 weeks, then she told us to come in. When they examined me I was at 3 cm, so they kept me over night and I had to keep those monitors on me that measure the contractions and the baby's heartbeat. My OB-GYN came in at 10am the next morning, the 19th, and said that I was in active labor. I was sent via helicopter to an Army hospital because the Navy hospital I was at wasn't equipped to take care of a premie (they don't have a NICU.) After about 34 hours of labor, 1 1/2 hours of pushing, the doctors decided they needed to use forceps because I wasn't able to push him out...he was face up. I don't have a real clear memory of everything that happened, but according to my hubby, the doctor was having trouble getting him out with the forceps, and I was so tired by this point, I wasn't exactly helping much. Our son's heartrate dropped from 160 to 40...we almost lost him. He was born at 6:44pm on March 20, 2007, and thankfully he is doing great now. He spent the first 2 weeks of his life in the NICU, I thought he would have been in there much longer, but when we did the carseat test (we had to put him in his carseat and prop it up like it would be in the car, and he had to sit in it for an hour without having any breathing problems) he passed it with no problems the first time. So, the doctor said that, because he did that, he could go home. He is now 17 months old and healthy as can be.

    So, along with that, I am 33 weeks pregnant right now...less than 2 weeks away from when my son was born. This has me a little nervous. Not to mention we just moved from Washington to Tennessee, so I'm dealing with a new OB-GYN. He has no clue about everything that happened with the first pregnancy and birth because he doesn't have all of my medical record yet and this also has me worried. Hubby and I were hoping to get a c-section so that we don't have to go through a natural birth and risk the same thing, or worse, happening again. So, I talked to the new doctor about that and he told me that I had to talk to my insurance company because they have to approve it. So, I call them, and they tell me that my doctor has to send them a referral before they can approve it. Why do doctors and insurance companies have to be so difficult??

    The last thing that has me a little frazzled is the fact that no one has bought anything from my registries yet. I know that probably doesn't seem like such a big deal, but the stuff for the nursery is on there. Bedding, diaper genie, etc. Hubby keeps telling me that I shouldn't worry about it because if there's something we need, but don't get, he will make sure we have it. I know that he will take care of everything, but it's still a little worrisome. But, what makes this worse is that my mom and my mother-in-law know about my registried, but I don't think anyone else does. I don't think they've told anyone. I'm thinking about sending out a mass email to friends and family and let them know that we do have registries going. I could do it just as an update, maybe with a belly pic, and let them know how long we have to go and all that. I just don't want people to think that the only reason I'm telling them anything is to get presents. I just need piece of mind.

    Am I crazy or has anyone else been through this? And with the second child instead of the first???
  • jillrn jillrn's Avatar 09-02-08 | 03:42 PM
  • I am stressing too, just about being a mom to 3! As far as stuff, alot of people do not have showers or buy for second babies. So I wouldnt count on too much. I would start hitting garage sales. For my second when I found out it was a girl. (had boy already) I took $60.00 and went to garage sales It was soo much fun, and I got all the clothes I needed for the first 6 months. I already had crib, swing, carseat and the big stuff from other baby. Do you have anything else from #1??
    As far as the Dr. did you explain your history to him?? There is a vaginal swab you can have done that can predict if you will go into labor in the next 2 weeks. They do them at the hospital I work at on mom's with a history of preterm labor. It is called Fibronectin. This may help to put you at ease. All babies, pregnancy's and delivery's are different. I would highly highly highly discourage you from getting a c-sect unless absolutely necessary. It is not good for your body. My second delivery was soooo much shorter than my first, easier too. There are way too many things that can go wrong with surgery. Good luck and take a deep breath! You can do this. Read some empowering birth stories (good ones) and try to mentally prepare yourself to be the powerhouse you are!! Blessings!
  • MommyBrown MommyBrown's Avatar 09-02-08 | 10:19 PM
  • I do have some big things, but I don't have a bassinet. The one I used with my first was a hand me down and I passed it on after he quit using it. Then it got passed again and she was still using it when we left WA. That is the thing I need the most right now.

    As for the doctor, yes I did explain it to him, but I don't think he was really listening to me. Either that or he wasn't understanding me. Hubby is going to my appt with me tomorrow to try and talk to him about it again. Hopefully we'll get somewhere and maybe he'll be able to offer some good advice.

    It's kind of funny that you suggested not getting a c-section though because my hubby was talking to some nurses that he was taking a class with and they are the ones who told him I should get one. I'm so confused on this. I don't know what to do. Either way scares me now. Ugh, why do I do this to myself?!?!
  • Saira Saira's Avatar 09-03-08 | 01:18 PM
  • I've been doing alot of research on the whole c-section thing, and I've found that talking to nurses they all have a horror story of why you should get a c-section, but none of the ones I talked to had seen any studies or knew any statistics. Doing my own research online, I came across alot of studies with statistics. Bottom line, if you've never had a c-section then a vaginal birth is by far the safest option for you and baby unless the baby is very premature and can't handle the rigors of labor. That would be obvious when you go into labor or as labor progressed. If you've had a c-section already, a vaginal birth is still the safer option provided you were cut the right way sewn up properly and in good health.

    Having said that, I can totally understand your fear of repeating what happened last time. The only consolation I can give you is to remember each baby and pregnancy are different. Second labors are usually quicker and easier than 1st. As long as your doctor is keeping a close eye on you for the preclamsia, things will likely be much better this time. The fact your baby was"sunny side up" last time and required forcepts has no effect on whether this one will be. If your really worried about that aspect of birth, there are alot of things yo can do to encourage a good birth position. Google optimal fetal positioning and you'll get lots of helpful info.

    As for the registry, I agree with Jill. Don't get your hopes up that people will buy off of it. Check the yard sales and prioritize if money is an issue.

    Things will work out, those pg hormones may not let you see it, but that's why we're here to remind you. Things WILL work out.
  • DeeElizabeth DeeElizabeth's Avatar 09-03-08 | 05:30 PM
  • I just wanted to add to what the other girls have already said. I totally agree with everything they suggested, but I also wanted to let you know that I totally understand your fears about labor and delivery. My first baby was born after 43hrs of labor and half an hour of pushing. That was with no pain meds, as doctors were too worried about my blood platelet level being low that they wouldn't give me an epi and the nurse had my IV in wrong, so nothing could get into my bloodstream. I was completely delirious and the pain was absolutely awful (baby's head was lodged in my spine and he was sunny side up as well). My second labor and delivery was completely different though. My daughter was born after only 16hrs of labor, only 5 of which was hard labor. She faced the right way and came out with only 10min of pushing. Also no pain meds with her, but it was soo much easier than the first time! I would totally agree with the other girls and encourage you to at least try for another vaginal delivery!!

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