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Didn't know where else to post this

Didn't know where else to post this

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  • Valleygirl Valleygirl's Avatar 06-22-05 | 04:07 PM
  • I feel bad. Dh's friend, who is also our handyman, is over putting in duel-pane windows. He and his wife have been trying to get pg for a couple of years now. I gave them my fertility monitor after I got pg with Rachel. The wife has had other health issues, such as VERY VERY bad asthma, back problems, not ovulating regularly and she is in her late 30's. Well she stopped by to have lunch with her husband and I went out to say Hi, she asked me how far along and I said we have 5 weeks to go. Well she touches her stomach and says "ya we are still just trying to get pg, I can't believe we aren't pg yet and you are already on your second." I could have just died. First off I know that feeling of how is everyone else able to have kids and it isn't happening for me, and then I felt a little defensive in that we have lost 2 babies since Rachel, and mostly I just wanted to hide my belly from her. I shouldn't feel guilty but... ouch YKWIM?
  • babyMarksMom babyMarksMom's Avatar 06-22-05 | 04:40 PM

    I do know what you mean. last december at our annual candlelighting memorial service, I had a few comments about how could I dare to show up, being pg and all........
    little did they know about my history. sorry she made you feel like that
  • cat cat's Avatar 06-23-05 | 02:49 PM

    It's interesting - people with primary infertility and those who've had m/c are going through such similar pain in many ways, yet it's so easy when you are in the middle of a horrible experience to be envious of others, no matter what they have gone through. I remember one person struggling with IF saying once they felt envious of mums who had been pg, even if the pg ended in m/c and they had no living children, because at least they had known the joy of being pg and of having that child with them, even if only for a short time. I on the other hand felt the one thing I was grateful for during IF was not having actually lost a baby - the month by month blow of AF showing up was bad enough, but I felt that a m/c would be even worse.

    We all suffer from others' insensitivity about our struggles with IF or m/c - it's a shame when we can't at least be sympathetic to each other