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  • sarehl sarehl's Avatar 01-02-05 | 09:05 PM
  • Hi ladies. I have a "what do you think I should do" question that I'm hoping some of you might give me your opinions on. I have a special place in my heart for this board, so I thought I'd ask what you thought. Just please note that I mention a baby in the post, so you might not want to read it if you're having a cr@ppy day.

    Thanks in advance, and happy new year to all.

  • Celia_M 01-02-05 | 09:26 PM

    omg what a *****
    I'm amazed you held it together and didn't say something there and then. Maybe with her being finally in early pg she's frightened to talk about the M word, but Still her behaviour is totally unacceptable. A simple "I'm so sorry to hear that, I'll be thinking of you" would surely not have been *too* much to ask ffs. Especially after the support you've shown towards her.
    Not sure that it's worth fronting it out with her, she's not the sort of person I'd ever trust, or indeed want, as a friend again after behaving like that. I actually can't believe she chose that moment to tell you that she is herself pg... the callous insensitivity of that has just staggered me. I mean if she'd at the least given it till you next met and told you then that would have shown some clue on her part. That you already have a child, should have no bearings on her response either.
    and I'm so sorry she put you through that.
  • dawnmarie dawnmarie's Avatar 01-03-05 | 03:13 PM
  • Hello Sarah!!

    Well you know I have to give my 2cents worth on this....I was in a similar situation once and found it best to just drop her!!! she is a person that needs help when SHE needs it but just shoos you away when she is done or things have gotten better for her. Don't waste your time with her or coddling her anymore you will only hurt yourself. She may have not intended to hurt but anyone with any common sense would have figured it out!!!!!!!

    Let's just say to her YOU probably "served your purpose!" so to speak! you did the right thing, now just give her the cold shoulder and move on away from her! If she has "dismissed" you once she will do it again. I have known too many people in my lifetime just like that. Some do it intentionally, some don't care and some just don't know any better, but never the less worry about yourself now.
    Again just my opinion!!!!
    Be happy for her, but just don't involve yourself with her!!!
  • glinda glinda's Avatar 01-03-05 | 07:55 PM
  • Sarah, I hope you don't mind but I'll just refer to this acquaintance you call "Jane" as "selfish b*tch". The fact that you described this woman as an acquaintance says alot. This is not a dear friend from high school who had a lapse of sensitivity when you mentioned the word "miscarriage". It's not a close friendship worth salvaging.

    From the short time I have known you on these boards, I know you go all out with supporting others. I can only imagine how much you did for this woman in person. If you see this woman while out with mutual friends then be cordial.......but let it stop there. Do not offer her anything. I don't think you should bring up her behavior as she already knows she acted like a cad and did nothing to make amends. She could have simply sent you an e-mail letting you know that she was sorry about your miscarriage. She didn't need to have a dialogue with you.

    She was never a true friend so just chalk this up to life experience. You know who your true friends are. You are better off without her in your life. Let's face it....she is so stupid that she has no idea how special you are. It's really her loss.
  • alla_pech 01-04-05 | 10:25 AM
  • I just want to start out by saying how sorry I am about your m/c.
    Just like all the ladies before me said, she is not worth you thinking about her. She is obviously an insensitive b%#ch. Unfortunately even though she had infertility problems herself, she did not learn not does she understood what infertility is all about.
    I wish your true friends will provide you support and love that you need and deserve.

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