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  • baby hungry 06-26-06 | 01:08 AM
  • Tell me .. is all this worth it? I am so sad and sick of dealing with failure.

    My friends are finishing their families while we try to add one. Conversations with friends have gone from what forumla to use to what school teacher should I pick. And here I sit.. just waiting for even the chance to worry about normal family questions. While they are all trying to decide if they have enough, we are still praying and spending every penny we have just to hope for the blessing and miracle of one.

    Is all of this really worth having a child? Is this much sacrifice and pain really worth it?

    Bryan and I should explore living child free because so far every other path we have tried has failed. Iol wouldn't suprize me if we fail at that one! Yep I can just see it. Spend all our money, enjoy one another.. then when we are 45 bam pregnant.

    I'm sure as the days pass I'll feel better, but here I sit tears falling, out of meds, out of another 1200 dollars, and so sick of hurting.

    Last edited by baby hungry; 06-26-06 at 01:36 AM..
  • mac71 mac71's Avatar 06-26-06 | 04:54 AM

    no kiddies here but just wanted to send my luv and hugs to you. I feel your pain Susanne and I wish I could take it away but I can't and it won't go away. All I can say is we live our life thinking that we won't have kids and although at times it does hurt it also has given me a little closure - although I have been saying for years that I will be 45 and find out I'm pregnant with triplets or something - its something that would happen to me!
    Anyway, I've no real answers for you just want to let you know I do understand your pain and hope that someday you get your little one or get some closure.
  • IamSam IamSam's Avatar 06-26-06 | 08:45 AM
  • Susanne,

    My aunt lived childless with her husband, she endured 7 miscarriages. It was so funny, all my life my mother was jealous of the money my Aunt and Uncle had, of the trips they took, and that they always had very nice things that children didn't break. On the other hand, my Aunt was always jealous of my mother and the children she had. Just before my Aunt passed away, she regretted not having children. We her neices and nephews were her children we went on trips with them and the showered us with gifts, but I really don't think it was the same.

    You have to make the decision if it is worth it to you, I endured 3 miscarriages, and only a year of trying after the MC's I don't think I could have done it as long as others have.

    Bless you Susanne and Bryan too, I hope you find peace.

  • Bethann73 Bethann73's Avatar 06-26-06 | 08:53 AM

    My TTC journey wasn't nearly as long as yours, nor as difficult. But the decision of whether it's worth it has to come from your heart. I commend you on your strength through adversity. And I continue to pray that you and many others including Therese are blessed sooner rather than later.

    I can tell you that once you do have a child/baby in your arms (no matter his/her age) you will feel that it was all worth it. You will realize that you have never known the depths your love for another human being could reach.
  • AmyM AmyM's Avatar 06-26-06 | 09:45 AM
  • Is it worth it? Hmmm. Hard question. I had my first child with no trouble, it was my next child that I had trouble with so I was never in a situation of being childless. I know that I would have been devastated never to have a child. My whole life all I wanted to be was a mother.

    I can say that having my second child took a lot of pressure out of my life. Although I'd still like to complete my family, I don't have the same desperation I had when TTC her. My heart is no longer aching month after month.

    I still don't understand this world and why some are blessed and other worthy people aren't. I am a very different person because I went through this hell.

    The very short answer is yes, but there has to be a limit. You can't do this your whole life, and your whole life can't be consumed by this infertility.

    Sorry. I don't think I answered your question well.

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