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Well that didn't last long

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  • N8S MOM N8S MOM's Avatar 12-22-04 | 09:25 AM
  • How is it possible to get a broken heart after only 1 week?

    I have some bad news - we got a call from Janet (grandma) last night. She said "I'm sorry, but we just can't do this right now." At first I thought she was talking about us going over there for dinner. Then she said "Due to circumstances beyond our control we need to put this thing on hold." Then she asked, "would you still like to come over for dinner on Sunday to spend some time with them?"

    That was when I realized that she was talking about not being able to go through with the whole adoption thing at the moment. I didn't know what to say or think, so I said that we would still be there for dinner.

    She was being very vague on the phone - like she was unable to talk freely. Tom and I are thinking that their other kids are giving them a hard time about this. Their daughter (not the boys' mother) was supposed to come for a visit for Christmas, so maybe she gave them a hard time and she happened to be in the room when she called us. Or maybe the boys' mother happened to be there. Those are the only 2 scenarios we can come up with.

    At first I was kicking myself for saying we'd still go for dinner, but then I thought that maybe that will be the only way we can figure out what's going on with this whole thing.

    I am so devastated right now. I actually let my guard down and opened my heart up to the idea of adopting these 2 boys. It's amazing how fast your day can change. Before the phone call, we went to Burlington Coat Factory to buy me a coat and we also looked at the baby furniture to see how much we would need to spend for 2 cribs. After that we went to the mall because we wanted to get the boys something small for Christmas. We decided to get them each a train ornament with their name on it (they love trains). We called the grandparents to find out the correct spelling of Dominic's name. Mike (grandpa) answered the phone and I could hardly hear him because he has a bad cell phone - he said he would call us back.

    We decided to go grab a bite to eat and wait for them to call us back. Well, Janet called back and that's when she told us the bad news. We were in a restaurant and after I hung up, I could barely hold back the tears.

    I know we've only been dealing with this situation for a week and I feel stupid being so upset. It's just that this - on top of our recent failed adoption - is just too much to handle. I was actually falling in love with this idea of getting these 2 boys. Tom and I were looking forward to getting to know them. We were thinking ahead of things we could do/places we could go with them. And now we won't be able to do any of those things.

    Thanks to all of you for your positive thoughts and good wishes. If we find out anything on Sunday, I'll be sure to let you know.

  • Bethann73 Bethann73's Avatar 12-22-04 | 09:49 AM

    I'm sorry. Try to stay neutral. Not positive but not negative. Maybe the hold up is just temporary. I will continue to think of you and Tom and think positively for you.
  • erinjj erinjj's Avatar 12-22-04 | 10:23 AM

    Oh Steph I'm so sorry to hear this! I'm wondering if they're just having some doubts, I can hardly imagine how hard giving the boys up must be for them. If it is the family putting pressure on them, how awful.......they are trying to do what's best for those boys which is letting you and Tom be their parents.

    I hope that things turn around very quickly for you guys.
    Keep us posted on how dinner goes.
  • Tracey and Neil Tracey and Neil's Avatar 12-22-04 | 02:12 PM
  • Oh no Steph, oh hon, I am So So sorry. I can't imagine how awful that must be.
    Please know that you and Tom are in my thoughts, I'm sending you lots and lots of love.

    Tracey x
  • alla_pech 12-22-04 | 02:40 PM
  • Oh sweety, that is just so unfair.
    Please try not to get too upset(i know easier said then done). I hope after your dinner this weekend, grandparents change their mind. Once they see you in their house, with the boys, they'll realize that you two are indeed the best parents for these boys.
    hang in there.

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