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Baby Making vs Love Making - A Man's Perspective

Dale Kiefer


Sex. It's everyone's favorite topic.

Well, maybe not everyone's. But most everyone who happens to be male and older than twelve is generally interested in sex. Very interested. At a certain age, most young men are all but obsessed with it. Talking about it. Thinking about it. Fantasizing about it. And, most especially - doing it.

Of course, guys who are routinely doing it don't generally feel the need to talk about it. Thinking about it is still pretty entertaining, but doing it on a more or less regular basis is usually enough for most men. After all, sex is fun. Sex is pretty much the most fun you can have without your clothes on. Of course, this assumes we're talking about sex as recreation.

Sex as procreation is another story.

Making love for the pure unbridled joy of lovemaking is one thing. Making love for the express purpose of making a baby is another matter altogether.

There's nothing like a scheduled appointment with a closely watched calendar, a basal thermometer, and an anxious mate to take the spontaneity out of lovemaking. While there are certainly far less arduous duties than impregnating one's mate, springing into action on demand can be daunting, if not downright unromantic. Perhaps it's the pressure to perform that can turn a man into a wet noodle faster than a visit from his mother-in-law. Or maybe it's the clinical atmosphere of the whole enterprise. ("Get in here now. I'm only ovulating for the next six minutes!")

Despite the pressure and the lack of real romance, you have to admit that making babies is more fun than many other duties a man is expected to perform. Such as making a car payment, for instance, or taking out the trash. To paraphrase Mae West (who by all accounts was no stranger to recreational sex), "Even when it's bad, it's good".

On a practical note, it may be helpful to relax and enjoy yourself if you've been put out to stud. On an even more practical note, here are some all-too-clinical suggestions for improving your chances of studly success.

If at first you don't "succeed" (conceive), try, try again. It's very rare that a couple will conceive after one attempt. (Unless, of course, making a baby is the last thing on their minds.) If you suspect that you may be less than ideally fertile, try switching from tightey-whiteys and skin-tight jeans to boxer shorts and rapper-style clown pants. The idea is to give the boys plenty of room to breathe. (And, medically speaking, to allow them to cool it.) Who knows, you may even get into the "swing" of things. There may be something to be said for eating oysters. Not as an aphrodisiac, per se, but shellfish tend to be high in trace minerals, such as selenium, which are vital to healthy sperm production. And speaking of good nutrition, a generally healthful diet, adequate rest and good hydration may all help - with stamina, if nothing else.Make your baby-making rendezvous as fun as possible.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that a woman is far more likely to conceive if she is relaxed. Which means: forget the ultimate goal and simply enjoy each other. In fact, if you approach baby making as simple unprotected sex rather than an attempt to conceive, you'll probably have better success than if you treat it like the D-Day invasion. Turning the tide in World War II required extensive planning, attention to logistics, precise scheduling, carefully placed troops, reliable equipment and a massive frontal assault. Making a baby may seem about as complex, (and may involve many of the same elements) but it needn't be as serious an undertaking. Again, have fun. After all, if you are successful your days of sex-on-demand-with-wild-abandon will effectively be over. Enjoy it while you can!

Good luck with the invasion. May all your soldiers safely breach the beachhead! And may one (or -- God forbid - two) manage to penetrate the bunker.

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victor Apr 16, 2013 09:04:40 AM ET

Hi im 37yr old guy i hv a 15yr old douter i hv a grl frend my grl frend wants us to hv a baby i tryd buy all means bt we cnt hv a baby so i need help from u guys wt cn i do?? 0847790225

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Maurice May 13, 2011 04:45:45 PM ET

Dale thank you so much for writing this article , seems that before conception the males only duty is too produce on call . For at least 6months among other problems in my marriage work,being a step-parent ,child custody case my wife demanded the times and dates . Watching her ovulation days checking after we had sex if she was pregnant only one after .. It became very dull and boring as well challenging for me sometimes she would even threaten to leave as well she did a few times ... And finally one night when it was all quite and not on her mind no more pissing on the stick no more charts on the bedrrom mirror reminding me of the best days when to have sex , we did and now we are 8 months along with our baby girl ... So to all the women who think it is all about calculated dates and times remember a child is a blessing and when God is ready all will connect . Thank you, Maurice

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